Mood:  happy

Everything is going great I mean like I wrote Jay a poem telling him how I felt: I'm in love with him. He is so emotional, he had cried. I can't think of a more pefect boy to be with...I know this is sort of impossible but this relationship is PERFECT...well if there was to be a pefect we would be just that, I wouldn't have it any other way with any other boy. It's like when we are together we have fuun, talking on the phone is okay and all but we barely be having anything to talk about. I can't wait to see him today though because it feels like I haven't seen him in like forever when in reality I just saw him on Sunday, but that really don't count because we got mad at each other and weren't really talking. But he is all I ever think about,all I ever write about...I never even really write about my social life because he is all I think so all I do is write about my personal life..he is so wonderful,so good for me. Even though I love when we kiss,that's not even the best part about us...it's just hearing his voice or his name is the best part about it~that's how I really know that I'm in love with him~but even better is when he write or tells me that he in love with me or just say he loves me,I think of them as the best moments...you know like the finer things in life! I miss him right now so much,everything he do makes me so happy even when I can't stand him!

Well let me start about my social life,although I rarely have anything to say but I talked to Antawanna on the phone last night...she was telling me about her life and how things been going..I miss her and was very happy to talk to her,we talked for about 2 hours..I really hope to see her soon,Destiny and I have been talking also I miss her too and was happy that we got a chance to catch up on things then she suppose to come to my church this Sunday and so does Andrew once I ask him to...even me and him had a pretty long talk for about 3 hours on the phone one night,I must admit I feel so sorry and guilty for chating on him with Marquette~me and him didn't even last for more than a week~ but well that's so over with though, but the shame still remains. But he isn't mad about it we talked about it and he is alright,I miss him also. It must seem now like I miss everyone, and technically I do because I love everyone! But I am sort of worried about this girl I claim as my sister that used to go to church with me, her name is Jacarla, but she now is in Texas it's just that she told me that she think she is pregnant with this 13 year old boy that doesn't talk to her anymore and she hasn't been to school in 2 weeks plus her mom has no clue of this all. I just pray to God that it isn't so,and it hurts my heart to know that such a blessing could be a tragedy...being pregnant is a wonderful thing just the onbringning of a new born in this world free to become anything they put their minds to is a such a wonderful thing to me but it turns to a tragedy when you get pregnant at such a young age and it she goes through with the whole process she can be messing her life up and possibly the baby's, being so young and uneducated can be a dreadful thing and it's be hard to go somewhere from that... I wanted to tell her to get an abortion but I don't believe in killing that's just like murder to me but I now don't have the answer because either way it goes she'll be doing a horrendous thing..but I wish her the best, and wish that it's negative...I really care about her and want her to make something of herself and hold off until she is out of college to wait to have a child.

I am trying to make changes to myself now, I am trying become more Holy.. and change my life style,I am trying to stop cussing because I am a young lady and talking like that is not cute nor how a young lady shall talk. I will not fight, and I will do my best to make all things right. When my parents ask something of me I will do it without smart remarks or complaints, and without catching an attitude. I will treat all people as though they shall be treated, with respect and never degrade or downgrade anyone for any reason, whether they do it to me or not! I will go to church every Sunday and try to make it every Wednesday and get more actively involved there, I will pray 3 times a day. I will not be selfish, if someone is in need of anything I will try my best to provide for them. Honesty, integrity, and loyalty will play a huge role in what I will become. I will study atleast an hour a day even if there is something else I would rather want to do. No boy will come before my education, I will work hard for what I get and what I want as well as need. Even if it isn't me that done wrong I will apologize. I promise I will try to live up to these rules I set for myself and if I fail to succeed I will get back up and try again!