Mood:
quizzicalOkay well me and Jermel has been writing each other back and forth but all those messages he sent me didn't really amount to nothing because I had my mind set...and I loved DJ that's all and I was sure that I wouldn't let Jermel mess that up! But yesterday after cross country practice I called Jermel to tell him to come get me...so we walking to the bus stop just talking and all so then we hugged and he wouldn't let me go,being in his arms again felt good...but what really made me really think about how we used to be was when I was getting on the bus and his arms was around my neck holding me and he was so close up on me then when I stepped on the first bus step he had put his hand around my waist so I wouldn't fall...that made me just think about him all day...when I was leaving from with DJ I just kept thinking about what if me and Jermel hook up again?Would I really leave DJ?Who is better for me?Which will I have a better life with? Who means more to me?...All those questions kept coming to my mind and I didn't really know the answer then but I think I know it now...DJ is my boyfriend and I love him and he loves me so I am going to stay with him because he treats me 3x better than any guy ever has....he fell in love with me and he's the one there holding me almost everynight, he's the one I loving hugging and kissing, he's the one I dream of everynight, he's the one always on my mind, he's the one telling me that he loves me, he's the one my heart beats for...I am just so in love with him, I'll be a fool to mess up what we have up...I never loved a guy more than I love DJ, and I don't think a guy ever loved me more than he does...I just wish that I could tell him this, but everytime I want to tell him these type of things I get afriad because I don't want to put myself out there and seem so sentimental, and I wouldn't know what to say either...it's always been easier for me to write things rather than tell the person even though words mean more than wiritngs...I just wish that one day I could tell him all the things I think...and I want to tell him how I feel every time he says he loves me, and I want to tell him how much I was hurting when he said he liked another girl, I want to tell him how much I cried after every argument we had...but most of all I want to tell him how much I miss him when he's not around and how much I love him even when we're mad at each other.