Hey i jus needed to get this off my chest i really miss bein wit u i miss us bein as 1 its like with out u in my life its like somethin is missin its like a hole in my heart that needs to be filled i miss it bein meme melmel u kno i jus really love u and its like i never stop bein in love wit u even though i made it seem that way its jus sometimes i dont have a thing to say i miss tellin u i love u at night i miss kissin u on the lips and holdin u tight in my arms i even miss the lil arguements lol and when u asked me did i still like u i wanted to say yea so bad but to tell u the truth i was scared to say it cuz i didnt kno if i was ready to be serious again i really regret that i didnt give u a second chance it might not seem like it but i wanna be wit u i wanna be yo everything i wanna be the 1 thats on yo mind night and day and most of all i still want it to be dj but not dominique jeter i want it to be demetria and jermel and other words wud u reconsider bein my garfield baby LOE

That was real sweet and all Jermel...and I love you too but I wish that you would have said something long ago when I wanted you bavk but now that im in a serious relationship I'm not ready to leave it

Aw ok i understand that u wud rather be wit him than me im sorry that i even wrote u that last message when i already knew wat the answer was gone be sorry that i even bothered u and i dont kno wat i was thinkin when i wrote that cuz how cud i jus expect us to get back in a relationship if we dont even communicate as friends of coarse i wud love to do that but some ppl dont have time 4 others but jus kno i do still love u and yes im proud to say it i am still in love wit u but i guess that wont change yo answer i guess i gotta jus live off memories of us cuz i dont think im goin to get a chance to be yo man again cuz u in love wit another boy and it dont seem like thats gone change u kno but yea i miss u and i always will miss u and in my heart jus kno that u will always be number 1 no girl will never be above u and no one can ever take yo place in my heart i want u to always remember that ok and i promise u that whenever u need me im here 4 u i love u baby

Why you aint answering yo' phone when I call??!! I am so mad at you...why people keep telling me that you smoke???...That don't make no sense!! But thanks for the messages, and yes I am in love with DJ and no I don't plan on leaving him any time soon because it's like he's everything you used to be to me...and since I messed up with you and never got that second chance I am going to treat him and love him like I would have loved you if you would have let me prove to you that I wasn't like that anymore...He's the best thing I have going for me right now and I'll never to anything to sabotage that...I love you but not in that way,just like a friend because that's as far as my heart will let me go and that's as far as I thought you wanted to go...you said you weren't ready to get back into a serious relationship when I was, and now I'm not ready to leave a serious relationship now that you're ready..it's truly evident that we're meant to be friends...I hope you cool with that...but no matter what I still love you Jar

	I jus hate the fact that u dont even like me no more and i never knew 4eva can end but i guess u jus showed me that this is like the end of the road cuz u jus made it clear that yall gone be together 4 a life time which means that i will never get another chance to be wit u man i love u and i do wanna be wit u trust me im still the same old jimbo minus the lying baby i miss u i miss bein wit u i miss everything and i told u that in the last message like i wanna kno do u even believe a word im sayin or do u think its jus all talk be honest i think i said all i can say there's nothin else i can say except i love u and my love 4 u is everlastin i guess thats it   I wasn't saying that I'll be with him for a lifetime but we planned our life together and from what's he's saying he want to be with me forever and I don't want to front because I want the same thing he wants...but a while ago all I wanted to do was prove to you that I loved you and nothing changed and that we could truley have a life together but you wasn't ready and I'm not mad at you for that...and even when me and DJ was together I kept stressing to you how much I was still in love but I never really got the response I wanted so I had to let go because you was hurting me so bad...when you was acting like you didn't love me and I was still deeply in love that hurted me so badly but I didn't want to admit it...I really wish you would have believed me and sorry I made a comparison between you and him that made you sad but I was just being honest saying that he is my new you...if you know what I mean....I'm going to treat him how I wanted to treat you...but I still love you   Ok u say u love me but still its not the way i want to be loved but man its like karma cuz it seem like everything i did to u u is doin to me i see how u felt its jus killin me in the inside to kno that u tellin another boy other than me that u love him at the end of every conversation im happy 4 u but at the same time i hate seein u wit another boy not like jealousy though but its jus somethin like i kno it dont seem like i be thinkin bout u but i do more than ever no matter where im at or wat im doin u always on my mind every time i get on the computer every time i past yo school every time im in the park and on the bus stop well u get the clue u always on my mind thats how much i love u and im pretty sure that im never on yo mind only time im on yo mind is when u see a missed call from me or atleast thats wat it seems like i wish i cud spend every second of my life wit u i wish u was the one tellin me u love me every night be4 u go to sleep meme i love u and its like u dont care I do care and I felt the same way when I tried to get back with you but you wouldn't let me...I know you couldn't have expected me to spend my life waiting on you...and yeah you do be on my mind,I do think about you alot sometimes because its something about you that I just cant seem to figure out,and I try to call you every chance I get but you never answer so I just go on and go to sleep or talk to DJ til' I get sleepy or he does. I can't believe you said it's like I don't care because I care more than you know...I want to spend the day with you tomorrow after colloquium...do you want to be with me after school tomorrow(Wednesday) from like 4 'til I leave??I've been trying to get in contact with you so we can spend time together but you never seem to answer..and I do love you but you're right it's not the way you want it...because I'm so deeply in love with DJ and I'm sorry if that makes you mad/sad or whatever emotion you feel but try to understand that if you wouldn't have turned me down that time in March it would be you I talk to every night and tell you that I love you all the time and you who I'm kissing and hugging ,you who I spend time with and you who arms I fall asleep in and ,you who kiss me on my forehead or cheek and whisper in my ear 'I love you' right before I fall asleep...but since you wouldn't give me a chance...it's DJ who I talk to everynight on the phone,DJ who I tell I love you to every time,it's DJ who I be kissing and hugging, it's DJ who arms I fall asleep in. it's DJ who kisses me on my forehead or cheek before I fall asleep and it's DJ who whisper in my ear telling me that he loves me....

Mood:  down

The other day me and DJ was in my room and he kept trying to force hisself on me so I got mad and gave him back the ring he gave me and I thought we broke up so I was crying all night, but he camr to my house last night and we cool but we never really touch each other now and aren't comfortable!

Mood:  a-ok

Yesterday I was ready with DJ but he wasn't getting "happy" so I was kind of mad and decided that I give up on trying to have sex with him, and that me and him should separate a little more! Jermel suppose to come see me today....Bri has micro's and keep flinging them making me so mad!That's all.....

~Princess~

In school....

Mood:  sad

Well last night Jermel came over here and before going out to meet him,I asked DJ was that cool with him and he aid it was. Then so I went with Juke down to meet him and Doc. Then DJ came to get Jiuke and all and then came back with Demarkis spoke to Jermel, but he didn't speak back then they left. Then we went to sit on the stoop at the corner...most of the time I was treating Jermel and talking to DOc and trying to keep Jermel from touching me and getting too close because I'm with DJ and I don't want to mess that up.Then later on Demarlon and DJ walked pass but didn't stop to say anything so I didn't say anything to them...like when I walked off on Jermel he called me back then tried to hug me and DJ saw that so he walked up and said how long you going to be out here talking, then I said I don't know then he walked off super mad so Jermel said bye then I caught up with DJ and we went to my room and he was just trying to treat me and argue and yell because the fact that Jermel tried to touch me and I didn't walk away plus when I asked Jemrel did he like me and in love with me like he used to be. I felt bad and I loved DJ with all my heart and I don't need him being mad at me!

Fast Fact:We all good now!

~OKay~

Princess

Mood:  sad

2 days ago I wrote DJ a letter telling him that I was in love with him. But today we got into it because he hti me and so we were arguing then he asked for the letter but before giving it to him I said it was garbage and he read it and asked why, I said because I lied and I'm not in love with him and he told me he was and hurried up and left. Now I can't stop crying because now I think he going to break up with me, and I do still love him.

Fast Fact:Oppy baby is a girl and is due August 20

~Sad~

Princess

Mood:  d'oh

2 nights ago me and DJ was laying in my room and so I asked him "do you think we should let each other go a little more?" he asked did I think so, and when I said yeah, he said well then yeah too.  My reason for saying that I told him was because I didn't want to be selfish and consume most of his day! But honestly I don't know why I told him that, I just need time to be DJ-free. I am so confused about him and everything, I know I love him for sure....but the question on whether I am in love with him is still in question. Sometimes I ask myself that: at times I could just feel it, then other times I just don't know if I do. That's just it, I don't know what it is, I'm so confused...I'm not so sure about anything any more. I don't know whether I want to be with him or not. I don't know what to do or think anymore. It's like he not even DJ anymore...when I first met him he loved basketball and that was his life! He played it all day and night...I complained about it so he stopped...that's where I made the mistake. I shouldn't have never tripped about it because now it just seems like I'm going with another me! He's saying things he don't believe and doing things he wouldn't normally do! Like for instance, when I asked do he think we should space out a little more, he asked me it back so he could answer the way I would answer. I never get his true insight on things and matters any more, he gives me my insight! He don't do what he ever thinks is best he'd do what he think I would want him to do! I don't know what to do or think anymore. Then I came to the conclusion that maybe it's his perfection that got me confused, maybe he should be with someone else. I am going to talk to him tonight about it.

Fast Fact: I am going to DJ aunt house today around 4, but I just started my period so it wont be none of that!

~Confused~

Princess

Mood:  not sure

O my Gosh! I don't even know where to start! Last night me and DJ was upstair in my room and the night before I told him that he can plan our day for the foloowing day...so we was fooling around in my room, and he asked did I finally want to try again to have sex so I was like no because I was sure Bri would walk in on us like always,her and Demarkis since he was here. But surprisingly they didn't! But we still didn't have sex,but he was trying to get me to say his name because he bit my lip and it's busted on the inside so i was like "oow DJ",so he tried numerous approaches to get me to say it again then he went down on me,that was the worse head I've ever had, and that was his first time doing it and he totally overreacted with it! That kind of got me mad! But I neverminded it....then later on in the night (when he finally got over that) he scared me when he was acting like he saw something in my room and that made me cry because Grandma used to live in that room! He also wrote me a poem, of course it had the same format of the poem I wrote him but it was so sweet...he says that he loves me but I don't know what way to take it because I know that I'm in love with him...but I don't know if that's what he mean.

Fast Fact: School starts bacck really soon....I don't want to go!

~Okay~

Princess

Mood:  hungry

Well I am going on a half-starving diet. Well actually I am not starving myself because I am going to eat a piece of fruit or some vegetable 2 times a day. Once from the times 10-1 and another 5-7. But I will also drink alot of water to make me feel full so it's cool. I also am going to exercise in the morning of Monday-Saturday...I am going to have a nice body...I don't want to be fat anymore!

Fast Fact: Me and Manny was on the phone some nights ago and he made me cry...

~I'm Cool,

Just a little hungry~

Princess